Bluebird's Nest

The wee babe started walking the day AFTER the big birthday party here, so January 22, 2012. That makes 12 months and 18 days.

It was a fantastic moment for our family. All of us just happened to be hanging out in the living room. We had a CD playing that our friends Kelly and Sarah made for her for her birthday the day before and it just happened to be a Bob Marley song playing.

She was holding two small board books – one in each hand – that our friends Jeffery and Lisa had given to her at her birthday the day before.

She took 3 steps.

My hubby and I cried.

We had a moment – our baby was growing up right before our eyes.

What were your baby’s first steps like? Did you miss it? Did you cry?

I’m sure glad I wrote that last post about the wee babe’s issues with sleeping. I received some nice words of encouragement and some ideas that other mother’s had tried.

I received an email from my cousin suggesting that I just let her cry it out. At first, to be honest, I just didn’t think I had it in me. Not enough sleep and feeling a little tender didn’t make for a good mix when I was going to have to go through the agony of letting her cry for who knew how long.

The day after I wrote that post, she was awake for 2 hours from 12-2am and I’m sure her teeth were bugging her. The way she was crying was more like a moaning. I put oragel on her, tried Tylenol all while snuggling her and singing to her in our kitchen. Finally, I breastfed her as I was at my wits end and she fell fast asleep until the morning.

The hubby and I talked about it and we decided that we couldn’t take it anymore (no less after fighting between us ensued due to lack of sleep). That night we were going to try the ‘crying it out’ method. I was nervous and very worried for the people who were in the apartment beside us.

She went to bed as normal (breastfed to sleep) and then she woke up at 12:30. We let her cry, and cry and cry. And I cried and cried and sobbed. I rubbed her back. She settled a little bit but never stopped crying. After 2 hours I couldn’t take it anymore. Couldn’t do it. And I was so worried about the people next door and her of course. I would have to see these people at some point! What were they going to say to me?!? And in French no less….

So I broke down and breastfed her. Fast asleep almost immediately. I got 4 hours of uninterrupted sleep that night. The most I’d had in weeks.

That morning there was more discussions about what we were going to do. I voiced my concern about the noise in the apartment. Should we put her in the tweenager’s room temporarily. My mother had suggested we put her in a different room than us. Maybe that was the problem.

We talked about her staying in our room and us moving into the living room. We talked about her going in the living room… The deciding factor for us was when I ran into the neighbour in the hallway (I knew it) and he said he had heard it all. My nightmare coming true. He said he had been worried for her as she cried so much and wondered if we should take her to the doctor.

At that point we decided to put her in the living room. She couldn’t stay in our room and ‘cry it out’ anymore.

But first we had her nap to get through. She went to bed in our room for her nap. The crying lasted a half hour. We had to go in every 5-10 minutes to put her back down in her crib as she kept standing up. Then voila! She stopped crying after 30ish minutes. My heart lept for joy. She completed a hour long nap and when she woke up there was lots of kisses and happy words for her. Good job my little baby!

Then bedtime came around, we moved the crib into the living room, nursed her a little bit so she was sleepy but not asleep, put her in her crib and said good night and then we all went to our bedrooms. She cried for 5 minutes!!!! 5 minutes! I was overjoyed. And it gets better. She slept until 5:45am.

Oh. My. God. Heaven.

Up until her morning nap this morning, there was a little bit in me that kept saying that this was just a fluke. That she was just going through another phase – albeit a great phase but still a miraculous phase… I think now after her nap this morning, it was the perfect time for her to try this strategy.

So we moved the crib back into our room for her nap. I breastfed her to a sleepy state and then put her to bed. She cried for…. drumroll please…. 3 minutes!!!

Now I’m simply over the moon. The only thing that I need to worry about now is where she’s going to sleep ever time she needs a nap or bedtime. I think for a while it will be musical rooms. And when my mom comes hopefully we’ll have a good nighttime pattern established so she can room with us again or maybe we can put her in the kitchen. LOL!

But I especially want to give a big shout out to my cousin, Josephine, for suggesting to cry it out and also to say that I’m sorry for doubting you (after all I did the same thing for the tweenager when she was 6 months old!).

It’s amazing how much your life revolves around sleep when you’re not getting enough of it. Thanks to everyone for the words of encouragement. It meant a lot to me.

<3

Last night was a rough night. Normally my wee babe wakes up 1-2 times a night. Lately it’s been 4 and I’m not used to this. It’s pissing me off to be honest with you.

My hubby and I have been trying something new for the last week. We’ve been bathing her, reading her a story, breastfeeding her and then bed time. Bath, book, boob, bed. And every night she’s gone to sleep at the breast but that’s it until around 12 or 1 where she wakes up and feeds and goes back to sleep for an undetermined amount of time.

Tonight, completely different. Bath, book, boob, bed, crying, boob, bed, sleeping, boob, bed, crying…this all started at 7pm and now it’s 10:10pm and she’s crying. My husband says “leave her and let her cry”.

What is it that make men and women so different where they can tune out their desperate pleas, but for the mamas, it’s like nails on a chalkboard. No wait, that’s more of an irritating sound and this is a more sad, and well, desperate sound.

I’ll let you know how it goes…

It’s 6:55am and… She went to bed finally around 10:40pm and slept until 6:00am!! This just validates it even more for me that there is no rhyme or reason for night time sleeping/waking.

Why do some nights they sleep all the way through, and other nights wake up 4+ times?????

I wish I knew.

Go to sleep. Go to sleep. GO TO SLEEP!

As I sit here, my wee babe is crying. Crying. Crying. She’s in her crib, tired, fed, clean diaper, and she’s crying. I’m letting her “cry it out”. I started this 2 weeks ago and she did great. I guess I’ve let it slip and put her in her crib already asleep too many times so she forgets how to fall asleep now.

Sleep is a funny thing. People take drugs to go to sleep. People drink warm milk. They take hot baths. They meditate. Soft music. All in the name of sleep. Why is sleep such a tough commodity? Why do people need to “learn” how to fall asleep. It blows my mind.

Sleep baby sleep. Sleep now please. In my mind I’m slowly going crazy. I’ve reassured her a couple of times now. Should I pick her up? Will that undo all that I’ve done and ultimately I’m just going to have to put her back in her crib again hopefully asleep. Which again defeats the purpose of crying it out.

As I write, she’s calming down. I’m secretly wishing that by the time I’m done writing this blog she will be done crying. So I write and I write. Willing. Wishing. Maybe it’s the fact that she’s only got a diaper on. Maybe my husband is being too loud (AGAIN!). Or maybe she just really really really doesn’t want to go to sleep.

Wait. She’s slowing down. Oh no, no, she’s ramping up again. Sigh. This is beginning to drive me around the bend. Please baby please please stop! Learn how to fall asleep. You need to do it for your health and my sanity. Ok, so now it’s been an hour. Am I a bad mom? She’s never cried for so long before. I’m going to check on her.

I checked on her. There she was, on her back, red faced, tears streaming down, no where close to sleep. I gave in. Decided I better get a disposable diaper on her, put her in a onesie, swaddle her and breastfeed her to sleep in hopes that she stays asleep for a while. She’s back in her bed now. Asleep.

It didn’t go as I had planned but that’s ok. She’s where she needs to be. And I’m back where I need to be. Sanity is beautiful.